Love, As I Know It (2)

When Everything Else Breaks, This One Holds — Friendship

I have known and experienced love in many forms, but one of the greatest expressions of love I’ve come to recognize is genuine friendship. Not the kind that’s fleeting or surface-level, but the type that holds you, covers you, stretches you, and lets you breathe. The kind that reminds you you’re not alone, even when the world feels unbearably heavy.

One of the purest forms of love is found in friendships. Yes, romantic love is great and all that, but have you truly experienced the blessing of deep friendship? The kind that forms a sanctuary for your soul? Because when you have, you’ll know what I mean when I say: friendship is a gift. An absolute blessing.

The concept of friendship, when you really think about it, is one of the most beautiful things ever created. These are people who have no obligation to us by blood or romantic commitment, yet they choose to walk alongside us through life's messiest moments.

This year, I’m being intentional about many things. One of them is gratitude. I’m learning to pause and truly acknowledge the goodness around me. And at the center of that goodness? My friends. When I sit quietly and count my blessings, one thing I am overwhelmingly grateful for is the gift of people—good people who bring light into my world. The people God used to remind me I’m not alone. The ones who didn’t wait for a perfect time to show up, but did so again and again, often when I didn’t even know how to ask.

They're not just a part of my life; they're woven into the very fabric of who I am. They impact me in ways I can't even comprehend sometimes. I've shed more than a few tears this year reflecting on how extraordinarily good my friends have been to me. I’m not exaggerating when I say they've carried me through my lowest points when my legs were too weak to stand.

Yes, I know the phrase, "What are friends for?" But being this good, this consistent, this present—it’s not a given. It’s a choice. One I never demanded. But they made it anyway. They chose me. From heartfelt words of encouragement to the silly banters that make me laugh until my stomach hurts, from fierce support to quiet companionship— everything they do makes me feel better, feel seen. They're my safe space in this chaotic world.

I remember when I spoke to a few of my friends about transitioning into a new career path and they supported massively. They were sending every material they came across, internship opportunities and all of that.

When I talked about starting a newsletter, even though most had never seen me write anything before, the encouragement I received was unreal. The pressure was intense (in a good way). MF literally squeezed my neck until I published my first letter.

If I woke up tomorrow and said I want to venture into something entirely different— maybe become a deep-sea diver or a professional whistler—they would probably help me shop for equipment before I even finished explaining my plan.

The food brand that sustained me through school really started with a conversation with friends. I casually mentioned the idea, and before I knew it, they had launched it for me. Knowing how much I used to overthink everything or "cringe out" at the thought of putting myself out there, I probably would've never actually started. I was still overthinking, unsure and self-conscious, but friends like Marv, Dorcas and Faith had already started posting about my cooking on their social media, telling everyone they knew about how I sell food and how incredibly delicious it is. I didn’t even have a brand name!

I remember calling Rinde, complaining that they were moving too fast. "I don't even have a name or logo yet!" I protested. So we had an impromptu branding discussion that day and finally settled on a name. Later that night, he sent me a designed logo and some marketing flyers with a message that still makes me laugh: "Is that all, or what other excuse do you have now?" He had effectively removed every possible reason for me not to pursue this dream.

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Love is in the small, practical things too.

Love is FJ traveling down with me for my sister’s wedding, even though we had a very heated argument earlier that week. She showed up early, and helped with everything. It is the unending reels she sends on tiktok and IG. It is the cute emails she sends to me.

Love is Ope curating personalized reading timetables and making sure I followed them. It is Ope taking hours out of his own busy schedule to explain difficult topics to me, and making sure I didn’t crash academically.

Love is Enny letting me use his house as a safe space that month I was completely losing it. He would let me in without questions, buy me food, let me use his internet and Netflix, and just sit in silence beside me with no pressure to talk, just quiet companionship. Sometimes, it's the random “How are you?” he throws my way, unprovoked, that hits the deepest.

Love is Tina letting me stay over at her house that night I was stranded, even though I had not informed her beforehand. She welcomed me in without questions and even fed me. It is her sharing some of her PR packages with me— if you know how precious those are to content creators, you understand what a gesture of love that was. Love is the cute, tiny pancakes she made for me.

Love is Mo offering to drop me off at my hostel after those long, stressful classes—or when school shuttles were nowhere in sight. It’s how he made sure I got home safe, without ever making a fuss.

Love is Marv carrying my brand on her head—shooting product pictures and videos, and staying up late to help me edit them until everything looked just right.
It’s in those unfiltered late-night conversations we had, sprawled across our rooms, talking about everything and nothing at all. The kind of talks that leave your heart a little lighter, even when the world feels heavy.

Love is Doyin's random calls, even with an 8-hour time difference between us. It’s me pouring out everything to him—joys, fears, boredom, anxiety—and him cracking me up till my tummy hurts. Even across time zones, he’s always been there, making me feel lighter.

Love is David, my guy. The one who’s been with me since those random group projects in school. Always present. Always listening. Always supporting. It’s him showing up consistently, supporting my business without fail, listening to my rants and gists without judgement. It’s the way we share the hottest gists in town like it’s the most sacred ritual.

Love is Shalom my mbgw calling me beautiful at every chance she gets. She’ll randomly reply to my concerning Snapchat stories with the most reassuring words and over-the-top hype. Always rooting for me.

Love is that pretty bracelet AK gave me, saying, “Tee, I’m proud of you.” Just like that. No occasion. No performance. Just genuine, unprovoked love—and I haven’t stopped wearing it since.

Love is JB and Pelumi being the best group members ever during those dreaded university projects, stepping up and helping in my lacking areas without making me feel incompetent. Love is JB placing special orders for crispy chicken every single time without fail and hyping me up like I’m the best chef alive, telling everyone around him how much of a badass I am in the kitchen. His loyalty made me believe in myself on days I doubted everything.

Love is Dr. Emmanuel offering to personally take my tests for me when I was crashing out about my hospital visit. He said, "I'm so sorry about that Tolani, these are the tests you need to do. You can inform me whenever you're around so I can run the tests for you."

Love is in the long-ass calls with Jeremy that mostly end with him saying, "Tee, you're finally becoming an adult and I'm proud of your growth" in a way that makes him sound like a 90-year-old grandpa dispensing wisdom from the ages. Love is Rinre sending me free Chowdeck vouchers to always get food because I somehow always forget to eat.

Love is that long, reassuring text MF sent me the other day when he could tell I was down and my confidence was hanging by a thread. He didn’t just offer comfort, he reminded me of who I am. His words held me together.

Love is Lad texting me every Friday to ask if I've decided on my newsletter title for the week, then proceeding to brainstorm with me because he knows how overwhelming it gets for me sometimes. One time I felt I was being too needy and didn't call him to proofread or help pick a title. When he saw my newsletter had gone out without his input, he messaged asking if I hated him now or didn't want him involved in my affairs anymore. When I explained that I thought I was becoming a burden to him, he simply asked, "Have I ever complained?" Sometimes love is in the consistency that doesn't need to be asked for.

Love is in the random discussions Babs and I have around business ideas, reminiscing about our wild high school days while simultaneously making plans for our future ventures. It is in the business conversations I had with Bizzo and Peter the other day at Unilag even though we had not spoken in what felt like forever.

Love is Demi holding my trembling hands to pray with me that scary night, 10 years ago in the school hostel. It is her waking me up every night during exam period to study when I would have happily slept through my future. It’s the ridiculous chemistry and physics songs we composed together to make difficult terms stick.

Love is in the little moments. It is woven into the smiles and bants I share with my friends. It is present in every single moment we share talking about nothing important, laughing until our sides hurt, crying together over disappointments, gisting about the most random topics, dancing badly at parties. Love is in the regular checkups. Love is in the questions asked not out of obligation but genuine interest—"How are you really doing?" with eyes that won't accept "fine" as a complete answer.

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When I look at my friends, I see their efforts, their intentionality, their choice to love me in ways big and small. I love them with a fierceness that surprises me sometimes. I want the absolute best for each of them. I adore them so much it feels like my heart might burst some days. I appreciate every text, every call, every stupid meme sent at 3 AM that makes me laugh in the darkness.

I'm trying my hardest to be a great friend too, the person who always shows up for them the way they've shown up for me and even more. Because I've been given this incredible gift of friendship, and the only worthy response is to give it back in abundance. Thank you, my beautiful friends, and I love you beyond words.

This is the kind of love I have received throughout my life. So yes, I have experienced true love in good friendships, and no, you can't fault me for being "too much", for being super caring or having so much love to give. I'm simply passing along what has been so generously given to me.

Until next time,
Omotolani 💖